|Candidates need to have their wits about them at all times|
1, After a hard day campaigning on the doorstep, and you're enjoying a couple of drinks in the evening - don't go on twitter or any other social media site. One drunk tweet can seriously damage you and something you think is funny, when tipsy, could easily finish your campaign off.
2, If you're on twitter and you get a tweet from Guido Fawkes or Harry Cole saying 'incoming' they're not love bombing you, but they have found out about the one thing you really hoped wouldn't come out during the campaign.
3, A bit like the last one: If Michael Crick is in your constituency, run he is not there to wish you well.
4, Remember to sleep before a hustings debate, a lack of sleep could lead to you losing your temper, shouting at the other candidates and becoming a youtube sensation.
5, If you're posing in front of a billboard and the snappers are asking you to stand in a certain place, make sure the words behind you can't be cropped into something, that makes you look silly.
6, If confronted by an angry voter, whatever you do don't smile at them it just makes them more angry and a load of shouting in the town centre is likely to alert the local paper. Simply ask the voter for their name and number & offer to call them in the evening when you will have more time, oh and don't forget to make that call!
7, Before you do an interview, remember to check the cost of a pint of milk and a loaf of bread with say ASDA. Obviously you use Ocado but ASDA will make you look like an ordinary person.
8, If you have a mic attached to you, remember to take it off before you get back into the car to slag off the voters you've just met.
9, If your leader is under the spotlight of the media, ignore the calls to comment. The media are not interested in loyalty comments, they're hoping you'll gaffe and make the story bigger.
10, Its election night, forecast from the exit poll is you've won your seat. Don't get drunk in celebration before the result is declared. 1, you may have lost by a small margin and 2, if you have won then you'll need to make a speech if you're in a marginal the national media will be broadcasting it live! Slurring your words wouldn't be the best start to your career as an MP now would it?